Are you being too hard on yourself when reflecting on your writing year?
2021 has been an incredible year for me. I feel like I fully stepped into being the Writer and Writing Coach I envisioned at the start of the year; I’ve achieved my dream of having a novel in a bestsellers list (#16 in Kindle Spy Thriller); and of seeing my words published in places like Writing Magazine and Mslexia.
But that doesn’t mean I’ve not had some stumbling blocks to overcome. I will always have to live within the limits of my chronic disabilities (M.E. & Fibromyalgia) and while I’m now able to do more than I used to be capable of, because I’m in control of my workload for the most part, I still crash occasionally. One such incident happened during NaNoWriMo this year, and I had to abandon my attempt to write 50,000 words of my new novel for almost two whole weeks.
And, here’s the thing.
I [ only ] wrote 25,000 words of my novel in November.
It would be so easy for me to focus on that one little word that I’m sure we’re all guilty of using at some point…
ONLY.
But Health was one of the few things on my list that is always classed as “more important” than my writing.
This was a decision I was forced to make years ago, in response to my disabilities. So I knew it would be the case even before I started writing in November; if I got ill, I would stop writing. And I did get sick. So much so I had to send my gorgeous writing buddy, Hugo the Destroyer, off to my parents so he could be walked and played with, because I just didn’t have the energy for it
Maybe I could perhaps have done more – added to my word count from bed, pushed myself to write in shorter bursts more frequently, and accepted that I would feel rubbish as I wrote.
But that’s not the kind of writer I want to be.
I’ve been there, done that. And, I am fully aware that it only makes my condition worse. There was a time when I used to push myself even when I felt terrible, just to meet a goal or deadline, or so as not to let a friend down, and often simply to meet those high expectations I put on myself.
Now I know better.
It’s taken a while. But now I know that when I don’t feel well – especially to the extent that I have to rely on others to walk my dog – then my writing is never going to be of the standard I want. I’m more likely to struggle with my word choice, and question if I’m even ‘good enough‘ to be the writer I want to be. I also understand now that if I don’t stop and rest it could have longer-term effects that impact my ability to do the thing I love most: helping my clients to write their own books!
So, now I choose not to belittle ANY of my writing attempts.
I didn’t [ only ] write 25,000 words.
Nor did I [ just ] write 25,000 words.
I freaking well wrote 25,000 words in 30 days and that is BRILLIANT!
And I did that, even with getting sick, having amazing clients to support in their efforts, and having a family holiday booked for the end of the month!
There is no [ only ] about it.
Such a small word, and yet those four letters can decimate our achievements in one fell swoop.
So, as we approach the end of the year, I want you to consider that no matter how many words you wrote over the last 12 months, make sure you’re not disparaging your own commitment and accomplishments by using words such as [ only ] or even it’s closely related family member [ just ].
Check those thoughts and choose the ones that support you.
It can make ALL the difference in how you feel about 2021, and how you start 2022…
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